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Church Narcissism

Rick Brandenburg

Narcissism. It’s a word that has real meaning in today’s world. Not a new word, but perhaps it is more applicable in our current society than at anytime in recent history. Narcissism is defined as seeking to serve oneself. It is the preoccupation with self. A few months ago, Jon Miller sent the elders an article about church narcissism written by James Emery White of Serious Times, Inc. in Charlotte. The article focused on how today’s society is all about self, all about me. The author used examples such as iPhone, iPod, and MySpace to illustrate the focus on self. We can see evidence every day in marketing where corporations target the concept that we deserve something, we’ve earned something, or we should have something. For years, McDonalds has worked to convince us that we deserve a break today. How many ads target the “It’s all about you” attitude? While we can blame our young people for promoting this concept, they had to learn it from someone.

I’d like for us to take a few minutes and assume this author is 100 percent accurate in his assessment of the church and take his perspective on the narcissistic church. Narcissism in the church is a bad thing. Hoping the church will focus on you is not what Jesus had in mind. We want our music, our classes, our type of preaching, even so far as we want our seat each Sunday. When we make church focused on us, Satan wins. When we ask the church, as a believer, to do the things for us that we should be doing on our own or amongst ourselves, Satan wins. Why does he win? He wins because we have moved the church off course from its mission of reaching the lost.

But I want to be served! But I want to be fed! These words have been uttered over and over again in churches around the country. It is as if no one assumes any responsibility for their own spiritual growth. Did Jesus say he came to be served? What would happen if we came to church and instead of saying I want to be served, we said I want to serve. What if we said that instead of being fed, we want to find someone to feed. I’ve heard the argument over and over that if you don’t feed the flock each Sunday you’ll have a church that’s a mile wide and an inch deep. That may be true if everyone makes Sunday morning their one and only time they are in the Scriptures, reading and studying, in prayer, and sharing with others.  

If we take no responsibility for our spiritual growth, the body does not grow spiritually. Somewhere along the line we should have learned to feed ourselves so we can ultimately feed others. There are certainly members in the church at variable levels of spiritual maturity and we all need to have some sense of responsibility of helping them grow through our caring, nurturing efforts. The church has one mission, evangelism and discipleship. You can’t separate them. If we don’t win the lost, who will we disciple? With a self-centered vision we are blind to our purpose and silencing what Christ intends us to be.  

Living a life for Christ is not solely focused on church on Sunday. Non Christians often harbor that stereotype about us, and our “all about me” attitudes that my church needs to meet my needs certainly encourage that perception. We also have 6 ½ other days of the week to get into the word of God and to grow in Christ and serve Him. Why have we made church all about me rather than all about them (the lost)? I once heard Perry Noble say he wants church to be something that “religious” people hate and unchurched people love. While we believe church should be something that we are all attracted to, it will continue to be weak and ineffective if the focus remains on us. As long as we keep saying “I wasn’t fed” or “I wasn’t served,” we’ve kept the focus on us. It shouldn’t be so much about us getting something out of the service, but rather what did we give God during the service.  Let’s all work toward spending each week feeding and growing in Christ so on Sunday our mission is to feed and serve the others who do not yet know Christ. Too many churches have their focus on those already saved. In this situation, the believer becomes the focus, other churches the competition, and the lost, well they remain lost.

I know that many will not agree with what has been written here. I repeat that I have taken much if it from “The Narcissistic Church” by James White from Serious Times in Charlotte. In principle I agree with much of what he says. Now it’s up to me to show I really believe it. The sad truth of this is that far too many churches cater to the believer and we make meeting our needs so important we neglect the lost. Are you willing to put those who don’t know the Lord ahead of you and your needs? It is a bold question to answer.